Just like when you buy a car, do your due diligence. That way if someone's a lemon, you'll find them out... More >>

I've been giving something a lot of thought lately, and have decided to share it with you - to influence you (if you're not already) to open up to friendships. Deborah Tannen, the linguist, recently wrote a piece published in The New York Times which discussed some research which indicated that people with sisters are happier than those without them.  Her point of view was it isn't women who talk better than men, it's that they talk more often - even if it's not about problems.  The very act of just communing is beneficial to both. More >>

When a military parent is deployed, it can be difficult on the entire family.  One mom is at a loss as to how to help her teenage daughters, who have started to act out... More >>

...My neighbor's son goes to a local day orphanage. She chose this particular day care because it has "sunny yellow walls and the toys looked clean." This was her standard for the people who would raise her child. This day care recently acquired a three year old Chinese boy, whose parents are recent immigrants from China to attend medical school at a local university. This boy speaks no English. More >>

Dad, do you ever get scared? I remember asking my father that question one evening before bedtime.  My world was scary even without the constant news of inflation and the threat of nuclear war with the now-dead Soviet Union.  I had an upcoming test for which I hadn't studied and there was a Neanderthal who made my life hell in the school hallway.  More >>

Recently, on a Friday afternoon, I had an experience which challenged my fears and comfort level.' I went out sailing in 20-30 knots of wind, with 6 - 8 foot swells, in a very, very narrow boat only 41 feet long.' I have five experienced crew with me.' And I was nervous.Believe you me, it is an intimidating experience when a little sailboat is planing at over 20 knots with gusts and crazy waves.' You don't have a lot of opportunity to think things through or to hesitate - a five degree wrong move and....WIPEOUT!' In the cold water and sloppy big waves, that could mean "man overboard" with the boat temporarily out of control. ( Watch the experience .)I am learning to skipper a boat under these conditions, where you have to run on "feel" and not so much on thinking things through.' I have lots to learn and practice, but whoo hoo!' What a ride!In doing this, I faced rational fear and was out of my comfort zone.' It took 48 hours for me to come down from that exhilaration.' It changes you.' I feel proud of myself; I know I'm getting better and better.' Facing fears and limitations, while scary, leads to such acceleration in joy of life and a growing self-confidence, that it is more than worth the scary moments.As I keep nagging at you folks, things are scary until they become familiar .' Practice and forcing yourself to face the experience time and again gives you familiarity which gives you confidence, and a natural, free, and legal "high." More >>

On Monday, I wrote about the event in Massachusetts that you've all heard about by now.' Several South Hadley, Massachusetts high school students are being tried on felony charges for the harassment of a high school freshman which led to her suicide.' It was worse than harassment - it was persecution, both physical and mental, and in the full view of other students and teachers.' No one did anything to stop them, not even fellow students.' Disgusting, really.What I want you parents to do is to teach your children to stand between evil and the innocent , even if they risk being ostracized or worse.' It is only when people stop just standing by that evil will be squelched.'My son came home from middle school one day to say he was in trouble because he was in a fight.' I asked what happened.' He told me that some kid was picking on another kid and it got physical.' I asked him what happened then?' He said that he got into it with the bully.' I asked him who won.' He looked down at his shoes and muttered "I did."I gave him high fives, made his favorite dinner, and sent my husband in to the school the next day to make it clear to the principal that we expected the bully (and not our son) to be punished.' I sent my husband, because he is more laid back than I (if you get my drift).We can have a million court cases and school suspensions. But it is only when parents teach their children to intervene that these bullies will be brought to their knees. They count on the cowardice of your children for their freedom to torment.' Tell your children to band together if necessary and do the right thing. More >>

There is a precedent-setting action being taken by the District Attorney in South Hadley, Massachusetts.' A high school freshman, Phoebe Prince, new in town from Ireland, was harassed by a pack of older teens.' This was school bullying taken to the extreme:' she was subject to threats and physical abuse, and unfortunately, this young girl hanged herself when she could no longer tolerate the terror.Criminal charges ranging from statutory rape to stalking and civil rights violations have been filed against the teenagers (two boys and four girls).Unfortunately, the criminal charges stop there.' I would add that teachers, the principal and the administration should be subject to criminal charges as well or a civil lawsuit, because the bullying was common knowledge for months, and the girl's mother twice complained to school staffers.' Some bullying was even witnessed by teachers.' It's time to rise up and counter this vicious free-for-all going on in our schools.Where do the kids get the gall to do this?' From everything around them!'Watch "reality" television.' It's all about being mean and out of control.' Even American Idol has so-called "judges" who insult people on national television.' Watch music videos and listen to mean/hostile lyrics with out-of-control sexually aggressive scenes.' What happened to the heartsick love songs of the 1950s?Watch television or listen to most radio with people shouting angrily at each other, accusing each other of racism and such simply for having a different opinion or point of view.' Dominating people by humiliation is what we do for entertainment in our society.' "Lord of the Flies"-type behavior from our children should not be a surprise.' What is a surprise is that adults and parents stand by, afraid of their own children and handcuffed by political correctness, where vile behavior now becomes protected speech.'That whole town of South Hadley, Massachusetts should be ashamed.' Phoebe's parents should have taken her out of that school the same way I tell parents in step-families to leave with their children when the spouse or the spouse's children become abusive.' The school should have thrown those brats out on their ears, worrying later about whether or not their parents would sue.If you're thinking "Well, no one could know that she would kill herself," you should know that according to one source, "one of the girls posted on Phoebe's Facebook page right after her suicide:' 'Accomplished.'"They tormented her to death on purpose.This is our next generation? More >>

A recent "non-study" purported to conclude that Botoxing the muscles between your eyeballs keeps you from frowning which feeds back to keep you from feeling bad, down, or negative.In other words, if you can't frown, you can't be unhappy!This is so stupid that it makes me wonder if the Botox industry paid this guy to come out with this as a means of changing the view of Botox from "cosmetic" to "injectable" psychotherapy.You wanna be happy for the rest of your life?' Well, you can do that even if all your "emotion" muscles work, and even if you are not particularly attractive.' Anyone walking around in a deliriously joyful stupor just because they got a little plastic surgery is unbelievably superficial to start out with.'A few times a year, I get my frown lines Botoxed, simply because I furrow that line deeper and deeper when I think or concentrate.' It gives the impression to others that I'm frowning, when I'm perfectly content with the universe.' Besides, a furrow that deep takes a lot of makeup to fill in that crevice, so I think of it as a cost-cutting measure too (kidding)!Right now, I'm writing this as I see the sun popping up from behind a mountain.' I am swept away by the majesty of this scene, and grateful that I am alive another day to experience this sunrise. That makes me happy.'' Being happy is mostly about what you choose to take in and what you're willing to give out.'Forget stupid studies about frown lines....they're meaningless against the beauty of a sunrise. More >>

Former "Growing Pains" star Andrew Koenig killed himself, presumably with some chemical, and he did this in a park where he used to go to "chill" or "meditate." Apparently, he stopped taking his anti-depression medications, which then allowed him to sink into a very dark place. That means his decision to commit suicide was a considered one.He disappeared on February 14, Valentine's Day. I wondered about that when I heard that. Here he was, with no wife and family on Valentine's Day: alone, with a minor career (and he was also the son of a famous actor who was on the original "Star Trek" TV series). It seems he had also turned down a job offered by a friend, and when that friend was away, Andrew collected all the gifts his friend had given him over the years, and then made that last trip to the park.Of course, his parents are suffering deeply, but whatever emotions they're experiencing, guilt should not be one of them. The truth is that if a person is hell-bent on killing themselves, they will find a way.The most common cause of suicide is an underlying mental disorder, followed by alcoholism as the second cause, and drug abuse as the third most common cause. Financial difficulties or other undesirable situations can add stress too. Over 1 million people commit suicide every year, and it's the leading cause of death among teenagers and adults under 35.I've listed below all the warning signs, but people who don't clearly show these signs can kill themselves as well, and people who show most of these signs may not. There is no "cut and dry" signal, but there are indications which serve as a warning. When you're aware that someone is LIKELY to kill themselves, please call 911 and have that person taken to a psychiatric ward at your local hospital. Physicians have the legal option of a 3 day "hold" to discern whether or not that person is a threat to themselves or others. When that determination is made, the potentially suicidal individual may very likely be put in a "forced commitment" status for treatment. Even that doesn't insure that they will never commit suicide, so it is good to be alert and know how to respond.Here's an easy way to remember the warning signs of suicide (this is from the American Association of Suicidology): IS PATH WARM? I Ideation S Substance abuse P Purposelessness A Anxiety T Trapped H Hopelessness W Withdrawal A Anger R Recklessness M Mood changesIf you observe these, seek help as soon as possible by contacting a mental health professional or calling 1-800-273-8255 for a referral. You can find out more information at http://www.suicidology.org More >>